graduate school hell

as i mentioned in my last post, school has been getting me down lately. I have to say for the last three weeks I've definitely been dragging. I know three weeks probably sounds like nothing to y'all, but I'm sort of wimpy (I guess) so three weeks is enough for me to want to throw in the towel. Unfortunately, i've got five weeks before I can say "i quit" and not actually be a quitter.

if you think about, that equals out to eight weeks or two months of being beaten down with stress and work and having to pull myself through the daily grind. 2 precious months! That's one sixth of a whole year! and then when you add in the two months I spent in graduate school hell last semester - that knocks it up to 1/3! That means that I'll spend 1/3 of this school year (august 09 to august 10) feeling all . . . stressed to the max. This can't be good for my health (or my fiance's health).

recently, i've noticed that even small things are enough to send me to tears. thankfully, my office provides a wonderful private space for crying :)

I think one of my biggest obstacles to living a stress free lifestyle (besides the mountains of homework and lab work that pile up at the most inopportune times), is making time to destress throughout the day. I'm one of those people that constantly feels like there is not enough time for everything and I tend to work myself up over it. Also, then I find myself not eating lunch or going to the bathroom or drinking water or stretching my legs or any of that good stuff because i've convinced myself that there is not enough time to get xyz done so i couldn't possibly take five minutes to heat up my food. Not taking care of myself in that way just makes me feel crappier and more stressed out.

My other obstacle is using the time I do have wisely. All to often I find myself veggin out in front of the television at the end of the day because I'm so drained it is the only activity that I can imagine doing. While I like to tell myself that this helps me unwind, there are probably some things I could do that would be way more effective.  I wonder if I would feel better if instead of watching tv, I used that time to meditate, call a friend, or write in a journal.

tomorrow might be a good day to put one of these to work! Door to door, I've got a 14 hour day in front of me. I'll be out the door at 8:30 am and won't be back home till around 10:30 pm. In that time period I'll TA, go to research methods class, have office hours, finish up work for lab, have lab meeting, finish a paper that is due at 6:30 PM, go to neuropsychological assessment class, and hopefully keep a smile on my face!