Wednesday, March 18, 2009
hopes and dreams
I have always wanted happiness. I've wanted to consume happiness and feel the smile spread from the inside out. I've wanted to feel good and wholesome and lovely. And now, now that I've built a life that I actually like to put on every morning and wrap up with every night - a life that I don't feel the need to cut at - I'm being asked to give it away. I'm being asked to trade it in for hopes of a future that may or may not ever be there. I'm being asked to live up to my potential, even if that means really not living at all. I'm being told that I have to move on. But, I just simply don't understand why my potential for success is so much more important than my potential for just simply being. Why must I labor to be the best? Why must I seize an opportunity that takes me away from love? Where is the valor in that? I'm decidedly not interested in winning or being the best or excelling or any of that mumbo jumbo that people use to cover up their loneliness. In the end that shit doesn't matter anyways. It is the love you put out into the world and the love you accept. It is the small memories. It is your health. It is your family. It is your happiness. And I'm making my family and I've found my happiness. So what I want you to see is that I've got my prize and I'm living up to my potential right now. I've got loads of happiness to spare and I will gladly share it with you, but only if you promise to value it.