oh man I couldn't be happier that the week is over. as my classmates heard me endlessly bitching about, i stuffed about 2,000 envelopes for the new research project my lab is starting. it sucked. big time. partly because i'm a complainer and partly because it really did just suck. by yesterday afternoon, i was feeling so overwhelmed and unmotivated that dreadful, pessimistic voice kept popping into my head to ask me all sorts of annoying questions.
why am i doing this?
what is the point of all this?
is all of this shit really worth it?
And then it started to feel like maybe it wasn't worth it. and maybe there really is no point. and maybe there are no good reasons for me to devote countless hours to this program.
and let me tell you, those are not good thoughts to be having during finals.
anyways, i went home and spent a few hours being in a funk. and then i made some jambalaya (paula dean's recipe). and that felt good. because i haven't cooked in forever and it felt nice to make something for neill and myself. and then i woke up this morning feeling rejuvenated and refreshed and recommitted. and that also feels nice. and now i'm going to study for statistics and psychopathology and that also is going to feel good in that annoying way.
things are much better today. thank god. because i didn't want to spend all day moping around the apartment.
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