Self Sabotage

Last time we chatted, I was feeling pretty confident that I would be able to be sub 15 pounds by Christmas. I was down 13 pounds and had 14 days to lose the next 2. Totally doable. Right? Right.

Unfortunately, at this point it looks like my goal isn't going to happen.

First, there was the holiday party on Saturday night, which included copious amounts of cheese and chocolate.

Then, out of sheer laziness, there was pizza on Sunday night and a burger and fries on Tuesday night.

And don't even get me started on the pesky bag of chocolate I bought on Saturday that has been calling my name every day. While I am happy to say I haven't binged on it, a little piece here and there certainly adds up.

To top it all off, today will be my last workout before leaving town on Saturday morning.

It occurs to me that a lot of this could be self-sabotage. I didn't have to eat so much cheese at the party. I certainly didn't have to order the pizza and then eat so damn much of it. And I really shouldn't have bought the bag of chocolate, knowing it is a weakness of mine.

Instead of working extra hard this week to meet my goal, its almost like I stopped trying. Why, when it was looking like I was really going to make it happen, would I suddenly lose motivation?

Anyways, I don't know what else to say about this other than I screwed myself over. And it doesn't feel good. 

p.s. I think it is silly to obsess about the numbers. Down 14. Down 15. The difference is pretty arbitrary. I don't want to go down the road of being crazy about every quarter of a pound. That being said, weight is a convenient metric to use for goal setting and it is fun to have goals.

p.p.s. I really don't want to beat myself up about this. The fact of the matter is, never ordering in or never indulging at a holiday party just isn't realistic for me. Or rather, it isn't the type of life I want to live. So, any diet I'm on has to be flexible enough to let me enjoy those things IN MODERATION. And maybe that is the piece I feel a bit down about? If it was just the party, or just the chocolate, or just the pizza then no biggie. But all of them in the same weekend as left me feeling a bit . . . blah.