What Does Self-Worth Look Like?

I let it slip yesterday that I was spending my Friday night working as a mental health representative at a campus event for undergraduate students. In honor of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, a campus organization arranged for Amanda Arlauskas, a past contestant from the Biggest Loser, to speak. Given the strict diet and the extreme exercise routine contestants adhere to on the show, there was a concern that some students might react negatively. So, I was on hand just in case. 

via amandaarlauskas.com

Listening to Amanda talk was pretty interesting. During her time on the Biggest Loser she lost about 87 pounds in just a few months. But, she revealed that to lose that much weight in such a short period of time she worked out eight hours a day and only consumed an average of 1,000 calories. It was also interesting to hear her discuss how the competition got to her head. For example, she shared that she became quite paranoid that the other contestants were trying to sabotage her weight loss by putting salt in her food.

While Amanda was very sweet (a persona that no doubt helped her get cast on the show in the first place), there were a lot of things about her talk that I found problematic. For example, Amanda shared, as though it was the most normal thing in the world, that she currently thinks about her weight "every minute of every day" and even dreams about it. She bills herself as an inspirational speaker, but is that really what we want to inspire women to be like?

Another theme in her talk that was actually really sad for me to hear about was the idea that self-worth is largely based on weight. She perpetuated the dumb (and completely false) idea that being overweight is synonymous with having poor self-worth, but being thin is part of having high self-worth. For example, she talked about deciding she loved herself enough to lose weight so that she could wear skinny jeans and men would find her "sexy." REALLY??? I'm honestly not knocking the fact that she wanted to lose weight to look better (I can relate to that), but to say these things with absolutely NO critical analysis of our culture that equates thin with beauty is doing a disservice to every single college woman who goes to hear her speak. Even just a few sentences on the idea that it is possible to feel good about yourself no matter what your weight would have gone a long way. 

i think these women look mighty fine. via the healthy apron.

Another unfortunate trap she seems to have fallen into is the "I'll be happy when" mantra. First, it was I'll be happy when I've lost weight. But, now that she has lost the weight she still isn't happy with the way she looks. Instead, she hopes she will finally be happy after losing twenty more pounds and getting her excess skin removed. But will she actually be happy then or will she find something else that needs to change before she can feel good about the way she looks? 

She spoke for a good 45 minutes, but here is a two sentence run down of her talk - being fat stops you from doing the things you want, like wearing skinny jeans, going to prom, having fun, being pretty, having a boyfriend, feeling sexy, being happy, loving yourself, etc. So, you should love yourself enough to lose weight so that you can have those things.

If I could waive a magic wand and change her speech up, this is what it would sound like --

We live in a society that shames fat women and makes them feel like they can't wear skinny jeans, go to prom, have fun, be pretty, have a partner, feel sexy, be happy, or love themselves. But, all of these things are possible at any weight. I'm happy that I've started eating healthier and being more physically active because I'm less concerned about my health and it makes my every day life is easier. But, now that I've lost 87 pounds and I'm still preoccupied with my weight and still too self conscious to wear what I want to wear, I see that true self-worth doesn't come from a number on a scale or the size of your jeans. 

ANYWAYS, my rant is over. Are you a fan of the biggest loser? What do you think about the show? Do you think Amanda is a good role model? What do you think self-worth should be based on?

Good News!

I've been on pins and needles the last few weeks waiting for an offer and one finally came on Wednesday. The placement I interviewed at on Tuesday offered me a spot and I accepted right away! I'm so relieved to finally have this mess taken care of. I can finally breathe easy and start focusing on other aspects of my life again. 

I'm really excited for next year. I'll be doing neuropsychological assessment with an adult population. So, clients will come in for evaluations for a variety of different reasons, such as traumatic brain injury, dementia, adhd, or neurological conditions. But, pretty much everyone will be there to determine their level of cognitive functioning (e.g., memory, processing speed, language abilities, etc.,). It will be my job to administer the assessments and then write up the results for the patient and their doctor (all under supervision of board certified neuropsychologists, of course).

So, a BIG thank you to each of you. Reading your words of encouragement really boosted my confidence and I think that helped me approach the interview feeling cool, calm, and collected. In honor of my success, I want to share with you some of the inspirational images I've found on pinterest. If you are following me, you know that I have a whole pin board devoted to words and these are some of the images that I have found especially encouraging.

via modernemotive.com

via weheartit.com

via quote-book.tumblr.com

I hope everyone has a lovely friday! I'll be working as a mental health representative at a campus event tonight. What are your weekend plans? Do you have any recent successes that you want to share?

Wish me luck!

I know I've been quiet around these parts lately.  Things have been pretty busy and and stressful for me. As part of my program I need to find a practicum position for next year so that I can continue to develop my clinical skills and gain more experience.

You see, becoming a psychologist isn't just a one or two year deal - I'm in a six year program. I went in at 23 and I'll have my PhD when I'm 29, and that is if I get my dissertation done on time and don't take any time off for baby having. In this six year period I'm responsible for completing three full years of graduate coursework, teaching, research requirements, and five years of hands on clinical experience (i.e., therapy). Some years are mainly devoted to one of these endeavors and other years are devoted to all of them. For example, my first year all I had to worry about were classes and my last final year will just be an internship where I get to do therapy full-time. But now, in my second year, I am in classes, conducting therapy at a counseling center, and working on my thesis. I get exhausted just thinking about it!

via phd comics

Even though it is super busy, I really enjoy being a therapist. It is originally why I went into psychology and I'm really looking forward to all the new experiences and opportunities I'll have these next few years. The downside of all of this?

Finding a new placement! Honestly, the application process has been bringing me down :( It is hard not to get stressed out when it feels like my whole future is riding on this. Getting real world clinical experience is a core part of the program so not having a placement is just not an option.

I know this will all be figured out soon enough, but until then please wish me luck!

Relationship Math

Sometimes, being married to a computer engineer is hard. He just thinks differently than me. So while I've done a pretty spiffy job of teaching him by being my crazy self that relationship dynamics may or may not be "logical" or "rational," I think these prints by artist Craig Damrauer would be useful study guides.

Neill's not the only one who would benefit from this relationship math. I can learn a thing or two from these equations also. For example, I know I'm guilty of gently reminding Neill about things more than once or twice and apparently reminding + reminding  + reminding = nagging. oops!

Wonder and Amazement

A post by Jessica at One Shiny Star reminded me to let myself feel more of a sense of wonder and amazement. As I've mentioned before, wonder isn't an emotion I tend to feel much. But, last night in my Community Psychology class we watched a video that amazed me. So, I thought I'd share it with you guys today. If you're a crier like me you might want to grab a few tissues!

I've watched a lot of the It Gets Better videos and they have all amazed me. This one was particularly touching because I think its so important for people in positions of power to come out and speak out against anti-gay hate crimes, homophobia, and heterosexism.

via northernsun.com

I don't speak about my beliefs much on this blog. I don't particularly like debating and I sometimes its easier for me to not know someone's beliefs than to know that they don't support Gay rights. But, watching videos like this it is impossible not to speak up in support of Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual people of all ages. And I'm amazed at the courage and strength Joel Burns showed.

Uninspired

I'm feeling so uninspired lately. The winter blahs mixed with the semester hustle have created an awful case of the I Have Nothing To Says. At times like this I wish I was one of those cutesy fashion bloggers that could just post a photo of their outfit and everyone would ooo and aaah. Of course, I'm sitting here in an old t-shirt and gym shorts so no one would probably get too excited over that.

No wonder I'm not a fashion blogger.

Does anyone want to talk about Teen Mom or the Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion? Because that's the level I'm at today.

Pinterest

I was so excited this morning to get my confirmation from Pinterest! They actually sent it last night - so I think it counts as a Valentine's Day gift, right? I'm still setting my account up, but let's find each other on there! Will you be my pinterest friend? You can find me by clicking on the little Pinterest badge under my labels on the right hand side of the page. See it? Click it! I'll be using pinterest as a catch all for everything fun, delicious, and beautiful I find out here in never never land (that would be the internet in case there was any confusion on that).

Don't have one? I've got five invites to dole out. Leave me a comment or send me an e-mail if you are interested!

screen shot of the "best of pinterest"